Dear Aunty, I’m in charge of a small navy. We recently sank a ship. Unfortunately it was one of our own. Any advice?

Aunty: Refuse to explain anything for weeks. Then send out a man in gold braid with a big extendable pointer, preferably on a Friday afternoon so the news will be buried over the weekend.

Blame the captain. Don’t release the investigator‘s report. Don’t explain why it wouldn’t be obvious to a bridge full of highly trained and experienced sailors that the autopilot was on.

Dear Aunty, I see the CEOs of KiwiRail and Transpower were paid more than a million and a half each. Is this a sign that austerity is tearing apart the public service?

Aunty: It’s a surprise the head of the navy isn’t further up the pay scale.

Look. If you paid less you might not find someone who could plan to spend $3 billion on interisland ferries that earn revenue of $150m a year, then run one of the old ones aground. Or topple a transmission tower and get fined for a grid emergency.

I don’t mind paying exceptional salaries for exceptional performers. If you see what I mean.

Josie answers all your questions here.